


Let the Night Be Quiet

by Poison_writes



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author is tired, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Not too shippy, Pining, Pre-Slash, Terribly OOC, Unhealthy Relationships, but that could be because of the setting eh, collage AU, evreyone except for nagito and hajime is just mentioned, i still cannot tag im sorry, idk - Freeform, me projecting? never heared of that, no beta we die like man, or as i like to call it - everything is normal au, tw cigarettes, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:47:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poison_writes/pseuds/Poison_writes
Summary: He wasn’t even sure what it was that brought up the stream of memories in the club. Maybe he saw something she would wear. Maybe someone just mentioned her name. All of his friends unfortunately knew her, after all. Whatever it was, now every single unpleasant thing that ever happened to him in that relationship was coming back and it hurt and it made him sick to his stomach. He wanted to throw up, because no matter how terrible everything felt, he still remembered her name with such fondness. It was terribly funny.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	Let the Night Be Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> Stupid awkwardly OOC vent fic, because quarantine hasn't been exactly kind to me. I'm jumping in the notes once again to remind you that english isn't my firt language so please have mercy.

Hajime didn’t really like parties. He liked hanging out with his friends, but overcrowded enclosed spaces that smelt of sweat and alcohol in combination with drunk strangers and loud music felt overwhelming to him. He still went from time to time, just to keep up with his friends and not be considered a killjoy. He ordered bottled beer and went outside just to catch some fresh air. There, sitting on a low fence around the club was one of his best friends and an ex-classmate – Nagito Komaeda. To be honest he didn’t notice when exactly he left the club, but he was pretty sure he heard him saying something about going home. He would have go say goodbye to him, but Ibuki was already dragging him in other direction, in yet another poor attempt to set him up with one of her many friends. Spring breeze was messing with Nagito’s already tangled hair and Hajime couldn’t help but think he looked kind of pretty. As much as clothed porcelain white skeleton could. Because that was something he resembled sometimes. Especially in the cold moonlight. Hajime couldn’t help but wonder if he had been eating enough recently. He knew Nagito really sucked at taking care of himself sometimes. The white-haired boy was starring up at the stars absently. He seemed almost frozen in place until he brought up a cigarette to his lips and took a long drag.

Hajime took a step forward and leaned over the fence. ‘I didn’t know you smoked.’

‘I don’t,’ Nagito shook his head. His voice sounded almost calm, which meant he must have noticed Hajime staring at him. He was usually very easily surprised. Despite what he just said he placed the cigarette between his lips, took out a pack and offered Hajime one. The brunette hesitated, but then though ‘screw it’ and took one. ‘It’s just something to calm my mind, I guess.’

Hajime searched for a lighter in his pockets. He knew he had one, he accidentally stole it from Souda at the begging of the evening. He lit his cig when he found it and inhaled the smoke. He didn’t smoke regularly, but would give in from time to time due to peer pressure. Still, the tobacco was much stronger than what he expected and he almost started coughing up. He managed to supress it. He wanted to look cool. ‘The party got too much?’ He asked, his tone dripping with sympathy. Nagito wasn’t the most sociable type. He also knew his mental health wasn’t always the best. Actually, it was quite frequently very poor.

‘Yeah,’ his voice was quiet, almost scared.

‘I though, you were going home,’ as soon as Hajime said that he immediately regretted it. He knew he had to be careful at phrasing certain things around Nagito, especially when he didn’t seem well. 

‘I’m sorry, I know you’d rather not have someone like me around.’

‘That’s not what I mean!’ Hajime almost yelled out. This time Nagito jumped in his seat slightly and Hajime was starting to get a picture of what was going on with him. ‘Just, if you feel like going home I could walk you. Or you could sleep at my place.’

‘You are being too kind.’ Nagito shivered. Maybe it was just the now cold wind. ‘You shouldn’t waste your time on me.’

Hajime sighed. ‘I’m going to ask you something and I just want straight forward answer and none of that self-loathing bullshit, alright?’

Nagito seemed to consider his options and then nodded slowly.

‘Do you need to be alone or do you need company right now?’  
‘I-,’ Hajime couldn’t see the other’s face, but he knew he had the ‘trying really hard not to say something self-depraving or weird’. ‘I really don’t want to be alone.’

‘Fine, how about I go say bye to everyone and then we can go back to my place? It’s closer anyway. Wait for me, won’t you?’ Hajime suggested with a smile and turned not waiting for answer. But a hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

‘You don’t have to do this, you know?’ Nagito sounded unsure and still somewhat scared. ‘If you want to enjoy the rest of the evening just go, I’ll be fine.’

‘I know I don’t _have_ to do this, I _want_ to do this. I care about you. Try not to overthink it.’ He patted Nagito on his shoulder. He left and the only evidence of his presence was almost whole cigarette and it’s light now flickering on the ground.

Nagito quietly laughed under his breath. ‘Try not to overthink it.’ Like he ever could. He could feel anxiety crush over him in waves. Each one brought up a memory he tried so hard to bury. He wasn’t even sure what it was that brought up the stream of memories in the club. Maybe he saw something she would wear. Maybe someone just mentioned her name. All of his friends unfortunately knew her, after all. Whatever it was, now every single unpleasant thing that ever happened to him in that relationship was coming back and it hurt and it made him sick to his stomach. He wanted to throw up, because no matter how terrible everything felt, he still remembered her name with such fondness. It was terribly funny. He instinctively wrapped his arms around himself. Something he did to feel just a little more protected. _No, you are acting like a weirdo._ He scolded himself and quickly lit another cigarette so he would have something to do with his hands. She used to be so mad at him whenever he’d come to her smelling of smoke. She would yell at him like he was a teenager who wouldn’t know better, like she had any moral high ground over him.

‘Hey, I’m back,’ Hajime’s voice tore him away from his thoughts once again. ‘You okay?’ He asked, knowing damn well that he wasn’t. He just seemed bit more lost than before.

‘Yeah sorry, I just trailed off I guess,’ Nagito shook his head and put down the cigarette. He shivered and wrapped his arms around himself once again. Was it this cold the whole time?

‘You seem cold.’ Hajime nudged him with his elbow as they started walking.

‘I think I may have underestimated the weather.’

Hajime took of his jean jacked and carefully pulled his hoodie over his head, throwing it at the other, before he put the jacket back on. ‘Here, take this.’

Nagito caught the hoodie and was on the edge of trying to talk Hajime out of landing it to him but managed to keep his mouth shut. Hajime wouldn’t like another self-loathing monologue. Still he couldn’t help but buried his face in the warm fabric, inhaling the scent before he realised that was probably weird thing to do. Blush spread across his face. ‘Sorry,’ he mumbled trying to avoid Hajime’s gaze.

The brunette chuckled. ‘Don’t worry.’ Nagito nodded with a small smile and put the hoodie on. ‘It was kind of cute actually,’ Hajime added. 

‘What an honour that you think I’m cute, Hajime.’ The sleeves on the hoodie were just a little bit too short and Nagito once again realized that he was taller than Hajime. 

They walked in silence for quite a bit, though it wasn’t really an uncomfortable, at least not for Hajime. Then he noticed Nagito fidgeting with his hands.

‘Alright, what is it this time?’ Again. Bad phrasing. Nagito flinched. ‘Sorry, I don’t mean it in a bad way, but if you want to talk about it, you can.’

‘Are you sure you want to listen?’ Nagito was looking away.

‘Of course!’

‘It’s just so stupid, you know?’ Nagito chuckled, almost cheerfully. It sent shivers down Hajime’s spine. Not the good type. ‘It all happened such a long time ago. Three years is a long time, isn’t it? I should be over it.’

It didn’t click right away, but as the other spoke Hajime realized what was he talking about. Before the two of them became friends Komaeda has apparently been in long-term relationship that seemed very serious but from what he could gather was extremely unhealthy. Nagito never really liked going in too much detail, but the girl – who also went to same high school – would be extremely controlling, throw jealous fits at any possible moment and frequently manipulated Komaeda into things he didn’t actually want. Hajime would even say abusive, but Nagito carefully avoided that word.

‘It’s so stupid, it really, really is,’ he repeated himself. Hajime couldn’t tell if he was laughing or sobbing. And to be honest, it was creeping him out. ‘It’s all my fault, if only I figured sooner, if only I could say no. If I realised I didn’t like women I could have been normal.’ Now he was really laughing. ‘Maybe not. Maybe I was simply always meant to be a freak.’

Hajime grabbed Nagito’s arm and maybe bit too boldly, or too harshly, because Komaeda bolted and the brunette could see tears forming in his eyes. ‘Just because you are in pain doesn't make you a freak, Nagito.’ Just as he said his name, the white-haired boy began to full on cry. It was a quick change from his previous behaviour but for Hajime it was somewhat welcome one. Crying was much more reasonable reaction to such topic than uncontrollable laughter. ‘What happened to you sucks and you can’t expect yourself to move on at certain rate.’

Nagito’s head fell onto Hajime’s shoulder. He felt very heavy. Nagito felt exhausted. ‘Sometimes I wish she did something to me physically, you know. Sometimes I wish I could just point and say she hurt me there, but that didn’t happen. All she ever did to me was talk. How’s that supposed to hurt?’

Hajime raised his hand to gently run it through the other’s hair. He would feel terribly awkward doing this even in private, but out in the street it was much worse. Luckily, it was mostly empty at that hour and even if anyone saw them, he’d probably consider them drunk. Nevertheless, Hajime had to swallow his pride. His friend needed him. ‘Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean the pain is not real.’

‘What if it isn’t? What if I just made it up?’ Nagito muttered. Hajime probably wouldn’t hear him, if his head wasn’t still on his shoulder.

‘Why would you make up such a thing?’

‘I don’t know? Cry for attention?’

‘If it was cry for attention wouldn’t more people besides me know? Wouldn’t have like told everyone?’ Hajime grabbed Nagito’s shoulders, trying to be careful this time, and pulled him away, forcing him to look at it. The man was fragile, Hajime had to be careful not to take out his frustration on him.

‘Chiaki knows,’ he said quietly, almost ashamed.

‘Yeah, because she is another person you trust. It’s okay. You are not trying to draw attention by talking about your trauma.’ 

Nagito shook his head. ‘Don’t call it that.’

‘Whatever. My point is: I believe you. I don’t think you are crazy. I don’t think you are attention seeking, okay?’

Nagito nodded. Hajime has already seen him go numb like this few times. He would go through countless emotions within the span of minutes and then become completely drained of all of them, just agreeing with whatever anyone told him.

‘Let’s go, we’re almost there,’ Hajime patted the other on his shoulder, leaving the hand there for the rest of the way, just to make sure the other was walking.

Hajime was alone in his flat for few days. His roommate had to leave to take care of some family business Hajime didn’t completely understand, so it was really safe to bring Nagito there. Still, almost lifeless, Komaeda let himself be directed into kitchen. Hajime wanted to ask him if he wanted to have a cup of tea or coffee, but decided this was more of a hot chocolate situation. The whole ten minutes he was making it, Nagito just sat there staring in front of himself. His usual self would probably try to talk Hajime out of doing anything nice for him or at least offer help. It appeared he was too tired for that. 

He came to life only when Hajime set a steaming mug in front of him. ‘What? You didn’t have to!’ he seemed confused, but as he was reacting properly again the worst was probably over. 

‘First of all, I wanted to. Second of all, I’m pretty sure you need some sugar. Did you even eat today?’

Nagito’s face turned red as he looked down at his mug. He was ashamed. ‘I had a breakfast.’ 

‘Oh really? What was it?’

‘A coffee.’

‘You know what? I’ll make you something real to eat.’ Hajime felt angry, though he couldn’t quite place why. Maybe it was just frustration at how poorly his friend has been doing.

‘You don’t have to-! I really don’t deserve-.’

‘Stop trying to reason with me, Nagito Komaeda. You are going to eat today and there’s no talking out of it.’ 

As he was in the middle of preparing a sandwich from whatever he found at home in that moment, he could hear Nagito behind him speak again.

‘You know, sometimes I feel like my life is divided with this thick line. Everything before her felt real and genuine. Like, relationship-wise. And after her everything is dull and grey. Like I’m never feeling enough. Like I can’t have anything normal ever again.’

Hajime turned around and lean against the kitchen counter. ‘Look, I could be wrong, but maybe relationships don’t feel real enough to you because you don’t experience fear in them anymore. You got so used to all the negative emotions that you feel like they are lacking now. But that’s not what’s it supposed to be like. You are not supposed to be hurting all the time.’

‘Yeah I guess you are right.’ His voice was somehow defeated.

Hajime turned back to finish his work. When he sat the plate in front of Komaeda he was pleasantly surprised to see half of his hot chocolate was already gone. Hajime didn’t want to make it too awkward by just watching him eat so he just scrolled through his social media. He got sucked in and didn’t even notice Nagito got up and wash the very few dishes he managed to dirty.

After that Hajime urged him to go to sleep pushing him into his bedroom. Nagito sat on bed as he watched Hajime searching for a pyjamas he could borrow him. ‘Alright,’ he said when he finally found one that wouldn’t be too loose on the taller man. ‘I’ll take the couch, you can sleep here.’ 

‘Isn’t-,’ Nagito cleared his throat. The same blush Hajime has already seen that day was spreading across his cheeks again. ‘Isn’t the bed big enough for both of us?’ He immediately began scolding himself in his head. That was a weird thing to say. He must have sounded like a creep.

Without giving it too much thought he nodded. ‘Yeah, you are right.’

Soon enough both of them were lying in the bed. Nagito was facing the window, his back turned to Hajime. For quite some time the brunette was sure the other fell asleep.

‘Hajime?’

‘Yeah?’

‘You really meant when you said you cared about me?’

‘Of course, I did.’

‘Alright. Sorry I keep asking shit like that.’

‘It’s fine, I’ll give you as much reassurance as you need.’ This time, Hajime leaned over and rested his forehead against the others shoulder. He could feel Nagito’s long hair tingling his nose.

‘Thanks for everything you did for me today.’

‘Any time.’


End file.
